Nipples

Do total strangers ever give you advice you didn't ask for?  That happens to me all the time. Like  a couple of weeks ago, when I was lounging at a coffeehouse writing blog posts in a notebook.

When I say "notebook" I mean a spiral binder with lined paper. I was the only person in the coffeehouse who wasn't using a laptop computer. It isn't that I only write blog posts in longhand. Sometimes I write stuff at a keyboard. I like to mix things up a bit.

Eventually the woman sitting next to me stopped typing and peered at me. "What are you doing?" she said.

"Writing blog posts," I said. "I usually draft them up ahead of time so they can settle down a bit before I post them."

"Ah," the woman said, nodding.

"Except sometimes I type them directly into my computer and post them right away," I said.

 "What's the name of your blog?" she said.

"It doesn't really have a name," I said. "It's just a page on my website."

  "I'd like to take a look at it," she said. "What's your website address?"

 "It's not an important blog," I said " It doesn't have any ads or anything."

"I still want to read it," she said.

I told her my website address and pointed her in the direction of the blog section. While she read through my blog, I went back to writing in my notebook.

Ten minutes later she leaned back in her chair and looked at me. "Not bad," she said. "I almost laughed out loud a few times."

"Thanks," I said.

"How many readers do you have?"

"I don't know," I said.

"You need to find out," she said.

 "Okay," I said.

"And you need a  better name for your blog," she said. "Something which will  make you stand out from the crowd."

"I'll give it some thought," I said.

"You also need better titles for your blog posts," she said.

"My titles are fine," I said. "They match the blog posts."

"That's not a good approach to writing titles," she said. "You need rockin' titles."

"Like what?" I said.

"Like Nipples," she said.

"Nipples?"

"I guarantee that if you title your blog post Nipples, you'll get zillions of new readers," she said.

"But I don't want to write about nipples," I said.

"Fine then," she said. "Don't write about nipples. It's your blog post, not mine."

Which is why I'm not writing about nipples.